Singin’ to me in my sleep...
Original Post Date: 5/25/08

To dismiss the importance of music in the history of mankind is to be the guy that believes this American Idol thing will never catch on. Or maybe those folks that wrote the bible really missed the mark with their "joyful noise". Music is everywhere, including my ears right this second, and it punctuates everything we do, whether we notice or not. Most of us sang along in preschool and bible school, fell in love or fell to our knees to just the right melody at just the right moment. Some danced all night, others danced in the rain, still more wish it would rain down; but we all know a song that opened a door or pushed down the wall between who we want the world to see and the reality of our soul.

Just about anyone who spends a measurable amount of time in my life gets a song attached to them. Many get more than one, like my Cookie. Other's songs change as their role in my own story changes. This is how I remember my friends at their best, and how best I capture the moment in time when I knew that someone was going to be important in my life. And, I suspect, I'm not alone. Sure, every couple has "their song", but I think so does every union, no matter how simple.

But what about every career? Just about anything that evokes or involves emotion has been romanticized in song. So where, you ask, are al the EMS songs? Few jobs are capable of producing such a complex range of feeling in a matter of seconds as the boredom and terror associated with playing chicken with death. Then, ask again, where are the EMS tunes?

Friends, they surround us.

Hollywood doesn't write a lot about ambulances or paramedics for plenty of reasons, but the biggest is that no one really cares. Honesty, EMS work is interesting chiefly to EMS people, and there aren't enough of us to sell a whole lot of CD's. (I must confess when I first wrote this, that said "records", as in vinyl….I am so old) What the big shots do write about; however, is raw feelings – love, pain and guts, and EMS is full of all three. The soul of EMS is not in the ambulance, it's in the EMT's heart on his first call. It's in the paramedic's bloodshot eyes at 4am on her 20th call in 20 hours. It's holding a new baby, it's holding a dead one. Nobody does emotion like a medic, and our songs are out there waiting to be sung.

For your homework this week, find all of the following songs, or even one, play it and think. Of your worst call, your best day. The day you fell apart in a pool of tears and blood and came out whole at the bottom. Whatever day that made you feel like you couldn't win or couldn't be stopped. Maybe you'll find meaning or peace, maybe not. Whatever you find, take comfort knowing that the right song will find you.

The List:
Turn the Page (Seger): "Out there in the spotlight, you're a million miles away. Every ounce of energy you try to give away."

Good Run of Bad Luck (Clint Black): "Gambled on a third time, fool'll tell you it's a charm"

Better Life (3 Doors Down): I'm about to see just how far I can fly, surely you're gonna break my fall"

The Space Between (Dave Matthews Band): "The space between the tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us comin' back for more"

Long Day (Matchbox 20): "Reach down your hand in your pocket, pull out some hope for me"

Wild Ones (Waylon Jennings)" Straight outta nowhere, and a little bit out of our minds"

Fire and Rain (James Taylor): I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end."

We Can be Heroes (David Bowie or The Wallflowers): "We can be heroes, for just one day"

Just About Right (Blackhawk): "Your shiniest day might come in the middle of the night, that's just about right"

There are a thousand more. Go find yours.

My trip to the River was incredible. Spectacular weather, good fishing and food that doesn't end. Ever. Nothing major happened, but that is after all sort of the point. I see my family so irregularly these days that the idea of doing it on purpose is no longer foreign to me. Probably something to do with getting older, too.

Speaking of getting older, just had a birthday. Thanks for all the well-wishes!

Big story in Newsweek about the rescue and recovery effort in China after a series of earthquakes and aftershocks. The article opens with a two-page photo of a soldier carrying a toddler from the wreckage on his back, the anguish on his face unmistakable.
I was reminded then of Oklahoma City and the fireman carrying the baby from the rubble of the Murrah Building in 1995. Not only the victims of this disaster need our thoughts and prayers, but also those tasked with restoring order to chaos. Those folks over there may pray to a different god than ours, but I bet they're both listening.

And finally, Hillary, if you 're reading this, let me give you some advice...
STOP IT!

Do good things with the week to come, and thanks for reading.

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Flight paramedic and critical care educator in Eastern NC.