Eyes Wide Open

Probably the most common reasons that endeavors great or small end in failure is not our inability to achieve the goal, but rather the unwillingness to set a reasonable goal in the first place. Had man tried to land the very first airplane on the moon, we likely would still be trying to find our way there. Instead, we first learned to fly, moving in delicate baby steps towards the Sea of Tranquility. Life is about the same small steps, each representing a single attainable goal in a series of small victories on the way to the prize of your choosing. With so much in life today marked as disposable, we have been lulled by savvy marketing into the belief that anything is worth trying, and equally worth throwing away if you don’t figure it out on the first try.

Two of our greatest challenges come to mind when I think of attainable goals and the utter failure of man to recognize them: marriage and careers.

After we’d been married about two years, my wife asked me “Did you ever think you’d be this happy?”

Quite directly, I said “Yes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have done it” Comparatively speaking, I waited a long time to get married, mostly because I knew I wouldn’t have been any good at it beforehand. I’ve loved and been loved by some amazing women, but I was never willing to put someone ahead of my dreams for myself and they were never willing to come in second. With my wife, the timing and our place in each other’s lives was perfect, and there was no doubt we belonged together. But we made that choice as informed, experienced adults; not starry-eyed kids in a fantasy or just tired of being alone. Marriage is a fairy tale, but it’s also a job. A big, rewarding and often tough job; not for the weak and not for everyone. There is an oft-quoted statistic that says over half of all U.S. marriages end in divorce. This number is based on faulty account and is misleading (the actual figure is closer to 41% as of 2005). One number that is true and shockingly large: 60% of all marriages that do end in divorce do so within the first 10 years. (HURLEY, 2005) Clear evidence that lots of couples don’t pay attention to the signs and advice given them along the way…a true lover’s leap.

And then there’s the other kind of job…work. Your career. As most faithful readers know, I will soon set out on my next professional adventure and while I’m a little nervous, I know clearly what I’m getting myself into. One of my younger friends said to me the other day “You’re going to be flying again?”

I said yes.

“That is so cool”

While I’d have to agree with him, the path I’ve chosen is about so much more, and the road to get here has been rough and rocky, littered with bad decisions and unheeded advice. Nonetheless, it has gotten me to the same place as a lot of people: a dream. Dreams; however, come in the night but must be realized in daylight, where they often fall short of everyone’s hopes. So many, too many, set their sights on their “dream job” having no idea what it really is or the foggiest notion of how to do it. These are the same people that often find themselves unhappy in careers they never intended and with no direction of escape. They are the saddest of all.

Whether it is of love or money, it is imperative to believe that you can achieve anything. Our nation was built by hands that believed they had no limits. But those hands belonged to men and women who also had no aversion to hard work and no illusions how much it would take to make their nocturnal dreams into waking reality.

Dream; but dream of what could, and will, be real.

The news broke to the world on Monday of my impending departure from my current job and the new adventure that waits before me. I find I’m so excited I can barely hold a thought in my head, yet I’m still a little anxious to pull up my professional stakes yet again. But I can say, unequivocally, that the friends and colleagues I’ve come to know in the last year are some of the best, and their absence in my daily life will be remarkable. You guys rock, and I’ll miss you.

Do good things with the week to come, learn something new and be safe.